Words of a Feather Flock Together

I was recently reminded of the power of words as I watched an exchange of words amongst a group of people. One person said and did something and another took offense and responded rather judgmentally. Others quickly joined into the fray and words were exchanged both publicly and in whispers behind closed doors. Camps quickly formed on both sides while others tried to step in and mediate.

The point of contention wasn't even an issue of right or wrong. Both parties had pure motives. Sadly, a conflict arose where none should have existed and others were pulled in to defend the honor of those they loved. I even found myself pulled in at one point as one of the injured parties that I am close to asked for advice.

I must confess that I found myself wanting to take sides and jump in with my sage advice. This time I took time to reflect and think about my actions. I wish I were always so wise. My advice to the person who asked was to wait and give prayerful consideration before responding privately. I can't count the number of times I have reacted in anger when my emotions were going full bore. I have always regretted it afterwards.

Some time ago I came across a wonderful story that often helps me to remember to control my tongue. I share it with you now:

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Yiddish folklore offers an insightful tale about gossip or slander. Once a man had said many malicious things about the local rabbi and, overcome by remorse, he begged the rabbi to forgive him. He said: "Rabbi, tell me how I can make amends?"

The rabbi sighed, "Take two pillows, go to the public square and there cut the pillows open. Wave them in the air and let the wind carry off the feathers. Then come back."

The man quickly went home, got two pillows and a knife and hastened to the square where he cut the pillows open, waved them in the air, and let the wind take the feathers, just as he had been asked. He then hastened back to the rabbi’s chambers. "I did just what you said, Rabbi! Am I now forgiven?"

"Good." The rabbi smiled. "Now, to realize how much harm is done by your words, go back to the square and gather all of the feathers."

The man exclaimed, "But that is impossible rabbi! By now they have been scattered far and wide."

To which the rabbi replied, "So it is with your words. I forgive you, of course, but the harm they have caused cannot be completely undone."

Freedom is Just a Perspective Away

I was driving to work this morning listening to the song "Perspectives" by Kutless. I looked at the car I was passing on my right and saw that it was a hearse with a coffin in the back. Just as I was passing it Jon Micah Sumrall was belting out the words, "Why can't you see that freedom is sometimes just simply another perspective away."

For me it was a rather serendipitous moment. As I started my drive to work I was thinking about some of the behaviors I was trying to change in my life and praying to God for help to set me free. I was also thinking about the tragic shootings at Virginia Tech yesterday that left so many people dead (33 as I write). My problems seemed to pale in comparison. The announcers on Air1 were also talking about the tragic event at VT and wondering how we would respond to it. Would we react in fear and mistrust and further wall ourselves off or would we realize that there are many other people like Cho Seung-Hui that desperately need someone to reach out to them. I found myself thinking what a frightening undertaking that would be.

When I got to work I discussed the lyrics and the hearse with my colleagues. We talked about freedom being a perspective away and came up with the following thoughts:

Sometimes we are free but chose to make ourselves prisioners.
Sometimes we are prisoners but chose to make ourselves free.

In the first case, perhaps we allow an experience from our distant past to dictate our attitudes and behaviors. In the second case, maybe we truly are a prisoner in some way. Consider a person who is held prisoner by a wheelchair. In spite of their prison, some chose to change their perspective and see themsevles as free. Instead of focusing on all that is wrong in their lives they look beyond their limitations and live life more fully and freely than those who are not so confined.

So let's get back to the coffin even if it does seem a bit morbid. The coffin is a dark and enigmatic symbol of death. It is an icon that reminds us of our mortality. And yet, there is a profound and wonderful message there. The coffin screams, "This life is only temporary!" If we can change our perspective and realize that this is not all there is and let that be a reality that is in the forefront of our thoughts, wouldn't that set us free? Free to live for eternity rather than this mere blink in time?

In John 10:10 Jesus reminds us, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Jesus understood that life would be filled with loss but he wanted those He loved to adopt for themselves an eternal perspective. Earlier in the Gospel of John (8:31b-32) Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Here's my point: Freedom truly is another perspective away. When tragedy crashes into our lives we need to remember the eternal perspective and live from that vantage point.

I certainly don't have this mastered and I invite each of you to keep me accountable to living it. If you see me living from temporal perspective I hope that you will gently remind me that freedom is just a perspective away.

The "Magic" of Disney

Our family is going to Disneyland in June. It's kind of a family reunion thing with my wife's family. I have resisted it the whole time. I had lot's of excuses:

- We don't have the money for it.
- We've been there already.
- I'd rather go somewhere else.
- There are two many of us with children of different ages and it will be chaos to coordinate.
- I don't want to use vacation time on it when there are other more important things.

In short, I've been kind of a jerk about it and as I look at my family legacy that pretty much sums up my conduct so far when it comes to family vacations.

The biggest struggle for me this time around has been the financial issue. It's always been the biggest issue. I am ashamed to admit that I have accumulated quite a bit of debt in the past eight months due primarily to medical bills but also because of some choices to spend money on some missions trips and personal development. We considered all of these things to be important. I wouldn't change any of those decisions if I had the opportunity to. It's our son's last year at home and perhaps one of our final opportunities to speak into his life significantly so we spared no expense and these things have proven to be rich, valuable, and even life changing experiences for our son, our marriage, and our family.

So, to me the Disneyland vacation was something that needed to go on the chopping block. I've shared our financial situation with my friends and family so I feel a bit embarrassed when they learn that we are going to Disneyland and ask how I can afford it. It's an obvious dichotomy. But, to my wife the vacation was essential. We've only taken one real vacation as a family. All the rest have been compromised in some fashion. We've either camped out with friends or done extended weekend type trips. When I look back on the choices I have made, I sorely regret not having invested more in our family. If I could do things over again, I would surely place more importance on family time.

You're probably familiar with the quote: "The family that prays together stays together." There is another one that is akin to it and is similarly wise: "The family that plays together stays together." Sharon read this to me from a marriage book she was reading last night. The book is: "Creating an Intimate Marriage: Rekindle Romance Through Affection, Warmth & Encouragement" by Jim Burns. The chapter was on the importance of play in marriages and family. It struck a chord with me. I acknowledged that play was an area that I have struggled in and failed miserably.

The good news is that I don't have to continue to be that way. I can and do recognize the value and importance of play. I have been purposely focusing on adding more of it to my life over the past couple of months. Last weekend we had a fantastic time playing games in the back yard with some new friends from Focus. We also played some board games as a family on Sunday, something we haven't done in a very long time.

I am now looking forward to our Disney vacation and will give 100% to ensure that our family has the best time possible together. I am also planning to use this time to improve my relationships with my wife's family. They are already good but I want to make them even more meaningful.

I hope that what I have shared here has been of value to you so let me ask you this: "Do you make time for play in your marriage/family?" I hope that you will give that question prayerful consideration and take action as necessary. May God richly bless you and yours.

The Big Dream

In his book, "The Dream Giver", Bruce Wilkinson suggests that we all have a "Big Dream" that was given to us by God (The Dream Giver). If this is true, do you have a Big Dream? What is it? Are you pursuing it?

I'd like to tell you my story about how I was very recently reawakened to my Big Dream (I couldn't resist the clever pun).

Sharon and I were having dinner a few weeks ago with Matt and Robin (some new friends we met at Focus) and Matt and I were engaged in a man-to-man talk over the BBQ as men are wont to do. I told Matt that I was struggling a bit with some dissatisfaction in my career. It wasn't that I dreaded going to work. I still like my job and what I do. I just felt that I wasn't getting real satisfaction from it. I felt that I'd like to do something more valuable with my life than helping to manufacture semiconductors better, faster, and cheaper. At the end of the evening Matt went to his library and brought me his copy of "The Dream Giver" which I read cover-to-cover over the next few days.

As I read the introductory part of the book I instantly and vividly remembered my Big Dream. In fact, I remembered the precise moment that I first verbalized it. It was around 15 years ago and I was riding in the car with my father-in-law on a trip from Seattle to La Grande, OR (my hometown). It was just the two of us. I remember saying these words, "Dad, I honestly don't think that I will find fulfillment in life unless I am working full-time in the ministry." That was my Big Dream. I wanted to be in ministry full-time.

Now, I haven't really ever forgotten that dream. It just hasn't been something that has been in the forefront of my mind that I have been pursuing with purpose. Instead, I had put it on a shelf where it gathered dust. I told myself that I would take it down again when my son's surgeries were done and he was finished with college and established in life. Oh, and I needed to have my 401k balance and short-term savings in order too. In other words, I didn't really give my dream to The Dream Giver and ask him to make it happen. I just put it on a shelf and told myself that I'd probably pursue it again when I was in my fifties.

I had some other personal hurdles as well. First, I didn't feel that my relationship with the Lord was where it needed to be when it came to prayer and devotional Bible study. My other larger hurdle was that I felt lacked a deep compassion for others. I could love the loveable but really struggled to love the unlovable.

I've been thinking and praying about this a lot these past few weeks. I've also shared my Big Dream with my wife and those who are close friends/mentors/pastors in my life. Now I am beginning to wonder. Am I being called? I must confess, I'm not sure I know what a calling is supposed to look like. I do believe one thing though. I believe that part of one's recognition of a calling is a glimmer of that calling expressed in the relationships they have with others around them. As I examine my sphere of influence and ask those close to me for honest feedback, I am increasingly coming to the conclusion that I am being called.

There, I said it. And, wow, does that feel awkward. Everything in me wants to go back and rewrite that last paragraph. It sounds arrogant. A voice inside is telling me that if I publish this I am going to embarrass myself and feel stupid ("Better to remain silent and let others think you are a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.") In fact, this whole message makes me feel undone. Something is screaming that things are simply not done this way and that dreams like this need to be kept secret. I can see the words of Dante emblazoned in my mind's eye: "Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here" Alright, that is, admittedly, a poor allusion given where those words were written but it conveys that idea that there is no turning back. But, that's okay. Authenticity is far more important to me these days than maintaining my grand self-image.

A few days ago I sat with my wife and son and we discussed the following proverb:
Proverbs 16:9 (NIV): In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

This proverb seems to have a particular relevance for me right now because I am seeing the steps the Lord has determined for me. Am I ready to be called? In some ways "yes" and in other ways "no". There are some financial challenges as well as some areas for personal improvement. One truth that I am holding onto during this time is this: God does not call the equipped so much as he equips the called.

So, there it is. I've published my Big Dream for all to see. I welcome your honest feedback on it and I will also continue to pursue God on the matter. This time I am going to put it in The Dream Giver's hands and let Him decide the timing. I don't know the what, when, where, or how Lord, but I am willing.

Will you pray for me in this? Please pray for God to give me guidance and to give the leadership of my church discernment. Also, will you tell me what you see in me regardless of whether or not it is something that you think I want to hear?

Thank you for your friendship and for being a blessing in my life.

[If you want to understand the significance of the white feather in the caption picture, you'll have to read the book.]

The Jealous Zealot

I was asked a few weeks ago to play the role of a Zealot in our church's upcoming Journey of the Cross production. This is an annual, week long event in which the church and community have an opportunity to experience the events leading up the cross and extending beyond to the resurrection.

So, I began some research to find out what a Zealot was. The word "Zealot" literally means to be "jealous on behalf of God". Originally, a Zealot was a member of a group who ardently opposed the Roman occupation of Israel and advocated the violent overthrow of Roman rule. Today the term is usually used with a somewhat negative connotation to describe someone who is excessively passionate about something.

I have recently learned to look more closely at the events in my life as opportunities from which to learn. As I examine my own life I see areas where I have been overly zealous or "jealous on behalf of God". This is usually followed by a legalistic attitude that leads to me using my influence to force my beliefs on others with the expectation that their behavior will change in some expected fashion. And therein lies the danger. Passion is a good thing but it must be tempered by wisdom and love and directed by the Holy Spirit.

For my role as a Zealot during the Journey of the Cross I have decided to be a man who is torn between his love for God, his people, and all that is holy and his total resentment for the Iron rule of Rome under which he finds himself. Although this Zealot has developed some unhealthy attitudes and beliefs, he is still a compassionate person at his core and has been captivated by the heart of Jesus. And though he chooses to see Jesus from a limiting perspective, he knows that he is the hope for Israel's future.

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Hear me Israel. I am Simeon - a Zealot. To be a Zealot is to be jealous on behalf of God! Thus, I am jealous for the hearts of God’s chosen people. I am jealous that you might turn to God and reclaim what you have lost.

My brethren, I tell you the truth. The time has come for Roman tyranny to end. Our God will deliver his people Israel from the yoke of slavery as He did in the days of Moses.

We live as pigs to the Romans while they grow fat on us. I have heard from those who have been to Rome that the rich there feast continually. When the gluttons can eat no more they empty their stomachs in the vomitorium so they can feast again. Yet we labor day and night to provide enough food for our families. Remember this the next time the tax collector demands your tribute.

Israel, we are losing our identity as God’s chosen people. The influence of Greek and Roman culture has pervaded ours and corrupted all that we once considered holy.

But I believe we have hope again. Have you heard that the Rabbi Jesus is here in Jerusalem? Some think he is a prophet of God, others even say that he is the Messiah who has come to restore the throne of David.

Do you remember what is written in the Psalms?

The LORD swore an oath to David,
a sure oath that he will not revoke:
"One of your own descendants
I will place on your throne-
For the LORD has chosen Zion,
he has desired it for his dwelling:
"Here I will make a horn [c] grow for David
and set up a lamp for my anointed one.
I will clothe his enemies with shame,
but the crown on his head will be resplendent."

The prophet Jeremiah prophesied of this day as well. You see now do you not? The Lord has established his throne here in Zion.

I myself went to listen to this Jesus speak and here is what I heard him say:

From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it.

Do you not hear what he said!? We must take back God’s Kingdom by force!

If you do not listen to my words, who’s will you listen to? The Pharisees? They do nothing but talk from sunrise to sunset about the law. They endlessly debate what can or cannot be done on the Sabbath and yet they do nothing that brings glory and honor to our God.

Or would you listen to the Sadducees who are nothing but the puppets of Rome? It was they who seduced you into accepting the abominable customs of Rome. Through them you have defiled yourselves.

Or perhaps you think the Essenes to be wise? The Essenes are cowards! They hide out in the desert when they should be here in Jerusalem ready to fight for the throne of our king.

God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, give these people ears to hear and eyes to see.

Listen to me Israel! If this Jesus calls us to stand up and overthrow the Romans we must be ready!