Thinking of my Dad

My dad entered retirement several weeks ago and moved to Kwajalein (a tropical atoll in the South Pacific - see picture) where he will live for the next two years. His wife, Becky, will work as an RN in the local hospital while she finishes up her working years and jumps on the retirement bandwagon herself. Becky’s son and daughter-in-law live there as well. Visiting them a couple of times in the past few years is what inspired them to be adventurous and move there.

It sounds to me like the perfect way to start one’s retirement. Doing a little fishing, scuba diving, or just basking in the sun with a good book and a cold drink while your wife works... I’m so jealous. But, I’m also overjoyed for him. If anyone deserves such a life, he does.

When I was four years old my mother left my sister and I with her parents and set out to start a new life. In the meantime my dad struggled to pay off the debts she left him with while he establish his new life as a bachelor. He went to work for Boise Cascade in La Grande, Oregon where he worked faithfully for the next 40 years. My sister and I visited my dad regularly and after three years he decided to do something almost unheard of in those days. He went to court and filed for custody of his children. After an unpleasant legal battle, he won, which was not something easily done by a single father back in the early 1970’s.

My dad did what any loving father should do. He set aside his personal goals and ambitions for his own life and sacrificed himself for his children. And yet, to me, it is somewhat remarkable because it is a dedication so rarely exhibited by fathers in our present culture. I often wonder what my life would be like today if my dad had not chosen to do the right thing. My maternal grandparents were good people too and I am sure they would have done their best to take care of be but had I lived with my mother later in life I’m not sure where my moral compass would be pointing today. Dad would agree that he was not a perfect father (neither am I) but he tried to do what was right and instill Christian values in his children. His commitment and financial support continued until I had completed college and I know that if I needed help to this day I would only have to ask.

Today I think of my dad not only as my father but as my very best friend. He left for me a great legacy by showing me what it means to be a dad. These lessons didn’t come by means of lecture so much as they did through actions motivated by love. I remember playing games together as a family or eagerly anticipating the next episode of Mission Impossible on Friday nights. If the budget allowed it, we’d splurge and get a bottle of pop and some ice cream. Then there were all the hunting, fishing, and backpacking trips where I learned courage and self-sufficiency. These times together were priceless and I miss them. This is going to be a long two years…

So here’s to you dad! I thank God for you and I thank you for all that you sacrificed for me. I will endeavor to leave a legacy that builds on the one you have given me as my son continues his journey into manhood. I hope that you will enjoy your retirement and be satisfied that you made a difference in this world with your life which is far from over. I look forward to seeing what you do with the rest of it and can’t wait to see you again!

The Pruning Axe

The axe fell yesterday at my company (Micron Technology, Inc.). Although a lot of good people lost their jobs, it looks like I will be able to retain mine for now. I felt like I needed to say something in my blog since I mentioned that I was struggling with this issue. Now that I am on the other side I am not sure what to say. There are a lot of thoughts and emotions behind them.

I was very relieved that it was not me that was laid off but I was saddened for those who were. They were people like me with families, financial obligations, and future plans. Some of them I have worked with for years. The company will be poorer without them.

The future of the industry and Micron are uncertain. It is obvious that Micron cannot continue with “business as usual” and will have to make significant changes in order to compete against companies in foreign markets with lower labor costs, litigation costs, etc. The handwriting on the wall would seem to suggest that a lot of jobs will be outsourced to lower cost providers both domestic and foreign. My personal speculation is that the future for operational jobs is grim. It just doesn’t seem likely that Micron will invest the dollars necessary to upgrade the Boise fabs to make them cost competitive. Eventually the fabs will become too costly to operate, resulting in more lost jobs which would really hurt the local economy. Boise is just too small to easily absorb such a significant loss of jobs.

One thing that I have learned from this is the necessity of embracing change. Like companies, people need to be able to adapt to change. When we don’t we lose our effectiveness. To personalize it: I need to embrace change. I’ve always felt very secure in my profession but now I realize more than ever that nothing is certain. In fact, it is very uncertain and I must make changes to adapt to a shifting market.

More importantly, I’ve been reminded that I must depend more on God and less on myself. As with Job, I recognize that all I own and depend on for my security can be suddenly swept away. Only my relationship with God is lasting and worthy of my dependence. I can trust in Him to supply all of my needs.

Vision and Reality

This past week has been one of the most difficult weeks of my life. I know I've been quite an Eeyore lately but I am finding that putting my thoughts and emotions into words is helping me though these trials. I also hope that others will find value in what I share. So, here is my list:

• 
  Since my company announced layoffs last week I have gone to work each day wondering if it would be my last. The axe is looming above our heads and life at the office has been rather gloomy.


• 
  I've been struggling with my insurance company to get coverage for my son's surgery six months ago. The total is nearly $30K and I am beginning to wonder if they will cover any of it. They have been reprocessing the portions they initially covered to deny it and the bills are stacking up.


• 
  My son is preparing to move away for college and needs financial assistance for that as well as for his car which broke down right after we bought it.


• 
  There are some significant relational strugges in my immediate family that have left me raw emotionally.

Any one of these would be difficult by itself. All of them coming at onces seems insurmountable. Last night I threw my hands in the air and cried out, "God, why are you doing this to me? What lesson do you want me to learn? I can't take any more!"

This morning I believe God answered that cry of my heart through the daily devotional reading from Oswald Chambers' book, "My Utmost for His Highest". I include it here:

Vision and Reality

"And the parched ground shall become a pool." Isaiah 35:7

We always have visions, before a thing is made real. When we realize that although the vision is real, it is not real in us, then is the time that Satan comes in with his temptations, and we are apt to say it is no use to go on. Instead of the vision becoming real, there has come the valley of humiliation.

God gives us the vision, then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way. Every vision will be made real if we will have patience. Think of the enormous leisure of God! He is never in a hurry. We are always in such a frantic hurry. In the light of the glory of the vision we go forth to do things, but the vision is not real in us yet; and God has to take us into the valley, and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the place where He can trust us with the veritable reality. Ever since we had the vision God has been at work, getting us into the shape of the ideal, and over and over again we escape from His hand and try to batter ourselves into our own shape.

The vision is not a castle in the air, but a vision of what God wants you to be. Let Him put you on His wheel and whirl you as He likes, and as sure as God is God and you are you, you will turn out exactly in accordance with the vision. Don't lose heart in the process. If you have ever had the vision of God, you may try as you like to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never let you.

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"Lord, please forgive me for my irreverent attitude last night. Thank you for answering me and showing me that you have a purpose and that what you are doing is necessary. Help me to trust in you more and set aside my worry. Thank you for speaking so lovingly to me through my wife. Help me to be a blessing to her. In Jesus' name - Amen."

Movie Review: Evan Almighty

Last week I went to see Evan Almighty with my family and I really enjoyed the movie. I went expecting the typical Hollywood treatment of all things Christian but instead was pleasantly surprised. There were a couple of lines I could have done without but overall it had a good message. I am somewhat perplexed by the response of some prominent Christian leaders. While the movie was certainly not theologically sound, it was still a great contemporization of a prominent Bible story that gives us some significant insight into the life of Noah and his family.

Normally, I wouldn’t bother to blog about a movie like this but there was one scene in particular that I thought made the entire movie worth my time and money.

*** WARNING – Mild spoiler ahead ***

At one point in the movie God appears to Evan’s wife as a restaurant worker named Al Mighty. She is having trouble coming to grips with her husband’s calling as a modern day Noah so God reminds her of a prayer she had prayed previously:

"When you pray for patience, does God just give you patience? Or does He give you opportunity to be patient? When you pray for courage, does He give you courage or opportunity to be courageous? And, when you pray for your family to become closer, does God just zap you with warm fuzzy feelings or does He give you opportunity to become close?"

Wow. If we could actually apprehend and comprehend the mountain of truth in those words it could be life changing for us. Perhaps God can even use Hollywood to communicate His truth to a culture hungry for His touch.

Lord, I too pray that you would give me patience, courage, and a closer family.