Wednesday, August 29, 2007

My First Baptism


This past Sunday I got to perform my first baptism. It was an experience that I am still savoring. I am so often caught up in all the busyness of life that I forget what it is really all about, namely, ushering people into God’s Kingdom. And this was it. This was the real deal. All of life’s other distractions were put on the shelf for a while as I focused on the eternally important.

Our church gathered along the shore of the Boise river where we conduct baptisms each year in August for those that want to experience it in an ice cold river. I waded out into the frigid water with the other members of our church staff and helped the pastors with a few baptisms. There was a lot of excitement as each person was lowered into the water and then raised up to the accolades of the family and friends.

And then there stood before me a young man who had just started coming to church at the invitation of a friend. He explained to us that he had accepted Jesus as his savior and wanted to be obedient to God’s command to be baptized. He wanted all that this newfound life in the Kingdom had to offer. We talked with him about the significance of baptism and then prayed over him. Though he was shaking with cold, a bit of nervousness, or both, he turned with gladness and assumed the position of one who is about to die. He held his nose with one hand and his elbow with the other as I spoke an invocation over him and we lower him down into the watery grave that symbolizes that we are dead and buried with Christ. And then we raised him up to walk in new life as his fiancĂ©e, friends, and family cheered for him.

What a privilege I thought, to be able to share such a profound event with someone. Lord, I pray that I will never take such things for granted. May I always feel awe at the profound mysteries of your Kingdom.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Passage to Manhood (Part 2)


In this second (and final) installment on my son's passage to manhood I'd like to talk about the upcoming part of his jouney. In one month Brendon will leave home and set out on his own for the first time. I remember well the day that I left home and all of the trepidation that went along with it. Brendon's situation is quite different from my own, however. My first day out of my childhood home was my honeymoon night, whereas Brendon will be leaving for Olympia, Washington to attend a Christian character development school called Anthem that is run at the Church of Living Water.


Until a few years ago I was totally unfamiliar with the concept of a Christian character development school. The closest approximations I was aware of were Youth With a Mission's (YWAM) programs: Discipleship Training School (DTS) and School of Biblical Studies (SBS) which were, at the time, largely run on autonomous bases. However, one of our associate pastors, my friend Chad Estes, was looking into a program called Master's Commission that he was thinking about running at Vineyard Boise. This was my first exposure to these types of programs which are run onsite at a local church. Anthem was originally a Master's Commission program but later changed its vision and name. Pastor Chad ultimately decided to design his own program, currently called Discipleship in Action (DIA) which is part of the Vineyard College of Mission

Here is how Anthem describes itself:

Anthem at Living Water is a leadership development program designed to empower and instruct young adults who are passionate about following Jesus and pursuing lives of meaning and ministry. Anthem is a full-time, immersion discipleship program where students are plunged into three pools of learning: hands-on training, curricular studies and personal discipleship.

I am elated that Brendon has decided to commit at least a year of his life toward pursuing what God has for him at Anthem. It was not an easy decision for him. There were some significant financial pressures for him as well as the urge to "get his life started" and enroll in college with his friends to begin pursuing his career. Initially, Sharon and I had suggested that he consider going to DIA because Brendon was having trouble deciding whether to pursue his true passion (music) or getting a more sensible degree in business. He thought about it but decided that his desire to get out of Boise for a while outweighed his desire to attend DIA. Later, his cousin Kelsey told him about Anthem and he was much more interested. In the end Brendon decided to go because he became convinced that it was God's will for him, not because he was necessarily sold-out on the idea himself or because he parents were twisting his arm. Well done son!

I am very excited to see what God does in Brendon's life this next year. What an incredible blessing he will have to spend a year in a discipleship community exploring and honing his talents as a guitar player/songwriter and building relationships with like-minded individuals.

We are all especially grateful for Brendon's great-grandparents, Vic and Fern Prosch, and his grandparents, Bob and Becky Prosch, for their financial support which has made it possible for Brendon to go to Anthem. Thank you Lord Jesus for a family who understands the importance of leaving a legacy and is willing to give of themselves and for other friends and family who have invested in Brendon throughout his life.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Passage to Manhood (Part 1)


I've been wanting to write something about my son for several weeks and have been letting various ideas germinate. This past few days a couple of friends of mine wrote about a young man's passage to manhood which brought to mind a similar experience that my son and I shared last year. During our church's men's retreat last fall God put it on my heart to recognize my son's passage to manhood. I believe strongly in the importance of a father formally recognizing his son as a man, so I took some time to sit down and write out my thoughts and obtained permission from the retreat coordinators to spend a few minutes and publicly perform a rite of passage for my son.

Here is what I read to my son in the presence of the men gathered there:

My son, there comes a time in every dad's life when he has to let go of his little boy and embrace him as a man. The passage to manhood is a transition that takes time and does not happen overnight. I do believe, however, that it is important for every young man to know the point at which his father recognizes him as a man.

Brendon, for you this time has come and, therefore, I would like to acknowledge before God and before these men gathered here today that I consider you to be a man. May you always remember that on October, 21st, 2006 at Trinity Pines you passed from childhood to manhood.

I have spent the last twenty years of my life preparing for you and raising you to the Glory of God. Please forgive my many failings when I did not adequately model for you the father heart of God. I would pay nearly any price to go back in time and play games with my little boy one more time. Those moments can never be recaptured, only remembered. My heart's desire now is that we have a deep, lasting, intimate friendship for the remainder of our lives together.

Son, there is no greater aspiration in life than for a man to seek after God and to walk in in His perfect will. My hope for you is that you will do this wholeheartedly for the remainder of your days. I am so proud of you for your love for God and your passion to serve Him in the area of worship ministry.

Brendon, are you ready to receive the mantle of manhood and the responsibilities that come with it?

Then I give you my blessing and charge you to serve God faithfully and to love those He places in your life with all of your heart. My continuing commitment to you is to be your father, friend and mentor for the remainder of my life and to provide for you and your family a legacy that will bless you.

I pass on to you this verse as it was given to me by your Grandfather Davis: Psalm 32:8 - I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.

Lord, I pray that you will empower these words to take root in our hearts. Give us wisdom that we might seek you first in all that we do and grant us the strength to do it. Bless my son in all that he does for your glory. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Brendon's passage to manhood was greeted with much applause and cheering and we both shed a few tears. I will always remember and cherish that moment when we stood face to face for the first time together as men.

Since the retreat Brendon's journey into manhood has continued. He celebrated his eighteenth birthday, graduated from high school, bought (and repaired) his first car, and made plans for his continuing education. These and other experiences have challenged and molded him this past year into a fine young man of which I am very proud. God has richly blessed me through Brendon.

Soon my son will enter the next chapter of his life and my role will change. I look forward to it with great anticipation. I can't wait to see what God does with his life.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Hands of the Surgeon


I am sitting in the waiting room of the surgery center of St. Luke’s Medical Center as I write this blog. My son Brendon, is having his sixth and, hopefully, final reconstructive surgery on his cleft lip and palate. The purpose of this surgery is to move and rebuild his nose and, hopefully, to perform some final plastic surgery on his lip if everything else goes well.

Sometimes I ask God why but mostly I thank him that we live in a day and age in which our son can receive the best medical treatment available and that we have the means to provide it for him.

As parents, our hearts have ached many times for the pain that we have watched our son go through. There is the physical pain of the surgeries themselves but there is also the deeper emotional pain experienced by a young boy who has always been very sociable and yet who has had to struggle so hard to be accepted in social circles that find it difficult to look past the exterior differences.

Often I look at Brendon’s cosmetic handicap and wish it were not so and yet I wouldn’t trade it for the world if it was a necessary part of who he is today. Perhaps God, in his infinite wisdom, knew that this circumstance was just what was needed as he was sculpting Brendon into the young man that he is today. After Brendon was admitted to surgery we went across the street to have breakfast with Sharon’s parents and during our conversation I commented that he is one of the finest young men that I know. Yes, he has his imperfections, like all of us, but they are, shall we say, cosmetic.

I am so thankful for the friends and family that have surrounded us with love and support throughout the years. Most notably, I am thankful for Sharon’s parents, Ted and Shelia Davis, who have traveled thousands of miles and sacrificed hundreds of hours of their time to be present with us for every single one of Brendon’s surgeries.

As the surgery is underway I pray: “Lord Jesus, guide the hands of the surgeon that you have prepared for this occasion. Let the outcome be good and let Brendon have a quick recovery with minimal pain and complications. Give him peace during his healing time and draw him closer to you. Thank you Lord for blessing me with such a great son and for blessing us with so many loving friends and family. Amen.”

Friday, August 17, 2007

The Tale of the Armor Bearer



I sat at the very back of the crowd and listened intently as Sir Knightly spoke to the men gathered around him. He spoke about the challenges of being a real warrior and told us stories of other great men of valor. He spoke with confidence and passion as the sun glinted off of his armor in the early morning. He also shared with us his own experiences. He inspired us with stories of his own victories and tempered us with tales of his defeats. We learned from him that a true warrior is not measured so much by the outcome as he is by his conduct during the battle; most importantly, his obedience to the will of his Lord.


We were a mixed lot. Some among us were warriors and others had never so much as lifted a blade to fight for The Kingdom. It was obvious to me that many there had suffered major defeats that had left them terribly wounded. I considered myself a warrior in my own right, though not as great as Sir Knightly. He had many great titles whereas I had earned only a few of lesser significance. I was not ashamed. Not all are called to be great warriors like Sir Knightly. However, I still secretly hoped that one day I would be freed from my other obligations that I too might pursue such noble causes. Not for the titles and the glory mind you but for the good of The Kingdom. Yes, I too can succumb to pride but I tell you honestly, after much introspection, that my motivations in this are pure. But, I digress.


It had been a challenging few days for all of us. Sir Knightly had been teaching us about the way of the warrior. At first, many of the things he had us do seemed very strange and we did not understand. Later, we began to comprehend as we saw the results of his training. We became men of one heart. The stories he shared also seemed to be carefully selected to highlight the important points that he was trying to teach us. I recall one story he told us about a man who was a warrior of no significance until much later in life. This man's son had been crippled from birth but had a brave heart and wished to go into battle with his father. The warrior knew that it would be no easy task to undertake such an endeavor but undertake it he did and without so much as flinching. Because of his great valor, he became a great warrior in the eyes of many men, us included, and, no doubt, in the eyes of his son. This story was particularly inspiring to me because it showed me that a man can choose a different path even if it is late in his life. Though I am not old, I had sometimes felt that I must remain on the road I had chosen rather than choosing another, but no longer.


I counted myself fortunate among the men gathered there for I had sat under the tutelage of some very great warriors, Sir Knightly being one of them. I had also had the opportunity in recent years to fight alongside him in some small skirmishes and to help him in his endeavors to train others. I had learned a great deal from Sir Knightly. After seeing what a great warrior he was I would not be surprised if a few of those men even envied me my familiarity with him.

As Sir Knightly concluded his training he read to us a story from The Word. It was a story about a great warrior named Jonathan and his armor bearer. Together they slew an entire camp of foes after being given a signal from their Lord. At first I thought he was inspiring us to greatness with another story of valor but instead he sought to teach us of humility and servanthood. "You see, all great warriors have need of an armor bearer." His words rung in my heart. The message was clear to me. A true warrior must, at times, depend on others. And, also, a true warrior must, at times, serve others. Sir Knightly then began to name some men who were his armor bearers. These were not mere farmers with pitchforks mind you. These were great warriors in their own right. And then, a most perplexing thing happened. Sir Knightly looked across the crowed and locked his eyes with mine and named me as one of his armor bearers.


I must confess to you that I went numb. My eyes brimmed with tears then (and now) by the honor he had just given me and yet I did not feel worthy of such a great title. I suppose there are many men who would consider such a thing their due and, perhaps, others who would be insulted to be called someone's armor bearer. A number of thoughts went through my sorry head. I began to wonder if maybe he had felt obligated to name me so since I was there and had served alongside him recently. I quickly realized though that such a thought demeaned both Sir Knightly and myself. I also remembered that Sir Knightly had recently recommended to me that I attend a special training program which I had declined because of the cost it would present to me and because, in my arrogance, I did not see the value of the training myself nor did I trust Sir Knightly enough to accept his judgment in the matter. After what I had experienced in those few days I committed that I would attend the training. And so I accepted in my heart the honor Sir Knightly had bestowed upon me and set out to understand the duties and responsibilities of an armor bearer.


It was some time before Sir Knightly called upon me to bear his armor but call upon me he did. We met at a local establishment to enjoy a drink together and as soon as Sir Knightly stepped through the door I could tell that he had been in a battle and that it had not gone well. His armor looked very worn and, if I may be so bold to suggest it, even a bit dingy. I wasn't sure if Sir Knightly wanted to talk about the battle so I shared with him some details of a small conflict I was currently involved in that was not going well. Apparently this made him feel at ease and he asked me to help him with his armor. As he began to take it off I was amazed by the wounds underneath. This was the second battle he had fought recently in this campaign and both had left him sorely wounded. While I helped him with his armor he told me of the battle and how he had received the wounds and I winced as I shared in his pain.


It takes a great deal of trust for a great warrior such as Sir Knightly to remove his armor in the presence of another when he is in such a weakened state. I was honored that he would extend such trust to me. I did what I could to tend to his wounds. The only insight I could offer was that he talk to his commander to ensure that he understood his orders and that he had his full support. I also suggested that he focus on the strategic aspects of the campaign instead of fighting tactical battles. Then, I helped him don his armor and sought to clean it up a bit. The condition of a warrior's armor often reflects more than his outward experiences and I felt that this was the case with Sir Knightly. Thus, I reminded him of his many great victories and asked him to consider how many lives had been affected by the outcome of his battles and his training of others for battle. Sir Knightly appeared to be heartened by this and as he bid me good bye I felt confident that he had trained me well and that I had borne his armor with diligence.


I met again with Sir Knightly a bit later and he indicated that he had spoken with his commander and that the future prospects of the campaign looked much better. I could tell by the look of his armor and his outward demeanor that he was once again ready for battle. I continue to be impressed by his seemingly endless commitment and passion. Wherever you are Sir Knightly you are in my prayers. Excelsior!

A.B.

Friday, August 10, 2007

What Color is Your Cross?



A couple of years ago I made a trip down to New Orleans to spend a week helping with the disaster relief efforts. One thing I remember from that trip was how disillusioned people were with the Red Cross' ability to respond to their plight. I frequently heard people remark that they hadn't received any kind of aid at all outside of the grassroots efforts organized by local religious organizations. Some of these people felt even more let down because they had made contributions to the Red Cross. It's not my intention to disparage the Red Cross here but I'm taking an opportunity to illustrate the point that I'm eventually going to get to.


Recently, I had my own disappointing experience with Blue Cross, my medical insurance carrier. In August of 2006 we initiated a pre-approval process for a surgical procedure that my son, Brendon, needed as part of his cleft lip/palate reconstructive surgery process. Little did I know that it would end up being a year long ordeal. To make long story shorter, we initially thought the surgery would be covered then later, when we asked for something in writing, we learned that it would not be. Numerous letters were exchanged between Blue Cross, several doctors, my company's benefits department, and ourselves. We never did get pre-approval and after the surgery was performed some bills were paid and others were not. When I questioned Blue Cross about the inconsistencies they responded that they had made a mistake and I would have to reimburse them the money that I had already forwarded to the medical service providers. Basically, it looked like we were on the hook for $30k+ or some ugly litigation.


So here we have two organizations who chose a cross as their symbol. Two organizations on which our earthly lives have some significant dependence and to which we gladly contribute our finances in the hope that when we need them they will be there for us. And, ultimately, two organizations that, in my experience have let people down. In stark contrast stands the Cross of Christ. I'm not sure what color it was - probably some shade of brown - but I do know that I can depend on it completely. It may not be there to pay my bills or bring me food and water when disaster strikes but the One who died on it will give me everything I truly need in this life. And, finally, when the day comes when I stand before my Creator to give an account for my life, that old rugged cross will be the only thing I can depend on. I have no doubt whatsoever that my trust in it will be well placed.
(In all fairness to Blue Cross, they did eventually agree to pay most of the costs of the surgery a few weeks ago. I'm going to give thanks to the One with the brown, wooden cross though.)

Friday, August 3, 2007

Software Review: Mozy


This utility is so fantastic it’s almost too good to be true. Mozy lets you backup up to 2GB of your data absolutely free and it’s very simple to install and use. If you need more storage then you can subscribe to Mozy’s unlimited plan for $4.95/month.

I use it to backup my My Documents folder. The only problem I had was that I had over 2GB of data there and I wanted to use the free plan. So, I had to move my music collection to another location. A little bit of a pain but it’s worth it to know that I’ll never lose any of my critical data. If you have a lot of stuff like pictures and such that you don’t want to worry about losing then the unlimited plan is probably your best bet.

The Mozy software runs every night and creates a backup of any documents that have changed since the previous backup was performed. These are stored on Mozy’s servers so you won’t be using up any disk space. The data transfer is encrypted and access is password protected so it is safe and secure.

If you aren’t doing nightly backups you should be and this is one of the best solutions around.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Why Blog?


The other day a friend asked me why I blog. Specifically, he was wondering why someone would want to keep on online diary where they record all kinds of personal details about their life that the world can read.

I suppose there are as many answers to that question as there are people who are blogging. Undoubtedly with some common purposes. Some people blog for a specific reason only and others blog for practically no reason at all. Perhaps the latter are just doing it because they perceive that everyone else is.

When I started blogging about six months ago, I wasn't totally sure why I wanted to, I just had a few notions. Primarily, I had enjoyed reading my friends' blogs and thought maybe I'd give it a try since it seemed like a good way of letting people know what was going on in my life. After having done it a while I have a lot of value in the process so I thought I'd take a moment to share my experiences with blogging.

The value of self examination: For me, the most valuable aspect of blogging has been the self examination process. I usually spend a few days thinking about what I am going to blog before I ever pick up the electronic pen. Then, I usually spend a good deal of time deciding what to say and how to say it. For me it's somewhere between an editorial column and a diary. I can't be completely transparent but I do want to be authentic. In other words, there are things that I shouldn't say because they are either too personal for a public forum or they are inappropriate because they involve revealing details about another person. Overall, I find the process of putting thoughts and feelings into words that I want to communicate to my audience to be very therapeutic. I also find myself thinking about a lot of things in my life as if I were going to put them on my blog. I bet there are five entries in my head for every one I have actually written. This is a good thing because I find myself analyzing my experiences, feelings, and behaviors in a lot more detail.

The value of authentic sharing: Initially I thought the blog would be a good way to share what was going on in my life with my friends and family. I had planned to write factual information about noteworthy events. Instead, I found that I preferred to go beyond the events and describe my experiences. I wanted to share how I felt or what I had learned. I wanted to give some value to my readers. If you've followed my blog you know that I am of the opinion that there is great value in sharing from my heart; value for myself and for others. The feedback I have received on the blog, both online and off, has reinforced my perspective.

The value of written memoirs: The blog has become somewhat of a story of my life. I have found myself referring back to various entries several times to remind myself how I felt about something or to simply recapture the experience so I could apply it to new events. A surprising feature of the blog is the power of the written word. There have been several times where I have been challenged by circumstances in my life to shrink away from commitments I had made and the knowledge that I did it publicly on my blog has kept me on course even better than my personal written goals. On a side note I also think it's a rather cool thing to have available to give to new friends to accelerate the "getting to know each other" process.

I've learned a lot about myself over the last six months (I hope others have too). I've leaned that I care about what people think of me more than I thought I did. I suppose that is both good and bad. Sometimes I agonize over what to say or how to say it. Am I being too transparent? Am I being misleading by leaving out a questionable detail? Can I be that vulnerable? Sometimes I wanted to write something but stopped myself because I felt like I'd posted too much that week and was afraid people would get tired of reading if I wrote too much (Henceforth I won't be letting that stop me). I've had to work through a lot of these feelings and I think it has afforded me the opportunity to get to know myself better and increased my ability to relate to others.

Shortly after I started my blog I added an email subscription and Feedburner tracking which allowed me to see how many hits my blog got and how many subscribers I had. I kept checking to see who had subscribed and how many hits I had. At first I was a bit disturbed by my own reactions. Why did I care so much? One thing that I noticed was that there was a very low subscription response from my close family and friends abroad; the very people who complained they never knew what was going on in my life. I was a bit hurt by this. I also noticed that people who lived close and saw me regularly, even some who didn't have a very close relationship with me, were much more interested in my blog. Interesting… I've also seen hits from people all over the world and have no idea who they are. Even more interesting…

So, I intend to keep doing this. It's unlikely I'll ever be a world famous blogger and that's just fine. I wouldn't want that kind of pressure. But, it's fun and I am getting value out of it. Hopefully, you are too. Thanks for reading.