Movie Review: Fireproof

Last night my wife and I had the privilege of attending the first public screening of the upcoming move Fireproof. The movie is scheduled for release in theatres September 26, 2008. When we received the invitation I though to myself, "Oh great… Another one of those low budget Christian films that's poorly scripted and acted." After watching the film last night I am pleased to say that I couldn't have been more wrong. I went because the focus of the movie is directed at strengthening marriages and that's my cup-of-tea. I figured I could probably get some value out of it or at least be able to say that I went. Instead, the movie deeply tugged at my heart strings and spoke to me about my own marriage. I was also introduced to something that will undoubtedly become a very powerful tool for ministering to marriages when it is released in the fall. It's the best marriage related video I have ever seen.

I was impressed by how well they portrayed everyday struggles and temptations instead of going out on a limb with plot elements that weren't relevant to the everyday person. It was easy to relate to the characters, to feel their hope and dissapointment. At the same time, they added larger-than-life aspects that created suspense and made for a very entertaining movie experience.

Fireproof stars Kirk Cameron and Erin Bethea. It was produced by Sherwood Pictures who also brought us Facing the Giants and Flywheel. A website named fireproofmyparriage has also been setup to provide additional resources for couples. A study guide will be released in the spring of 2009.

Here is a brief synopsis from the Fireproof website:

At work, inside burning buildings, Capt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter's adage: Never leave your partner behind. At home, in the cooling embers of his marriage, he lives by his own rules.

Growing up, Catherine Holt always dreamed of marrying a loving, brave firefighter...just like her daddy. Now, after seven years of marriage, Catherine wonders when she stopped being "good enough" for her husband.

Regular arguments over jobs, finances, housework, and outside interests have readied them both to move on to something with more sparks.

As the couple prepares to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb's father challenges his son to commit to a 40-day experiment: "The Love Dare." Wondering if it's even worth the effort, Caleb agrees-for his father's sake more than for his marriage. When Caleb discovers the book's daily challenges are tied into his parents' new found faith, his already limited interest is further dampened.

While trying to stay true to his promise, Caleb becomes frustrated time and again. He finally asks his father, "How am I supposed to show love to somebody who constantly rejects me?"

When his father explains that this is the love Christ shows to us, Caleb makes a life-changing commitment to love God. And with God's help he begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife.

But is it too late to fireproof his marriage? His job is to rescue others. Now Caleb Holt is ready to face his toughest job ever ... rescuing his wife's heart.


If you are married, thinking about getting married, or know someone who is married then I would highly recommend this film. If you don't fall into any of those categories please knock on the coffin lid so we can let you out. Bad jokes aside, please do put it on your calendar. You'll be glad you did. Just be sure to take a box of tissues… Or two.

The Adventures of Sharon

My wife is an amazing person and adventure seems to follow her around like a stalker. She survived a bad car accident when she was a little girl. During our early years of marriage when I was in college she was grabbed by a man who was robbing the restaurant at which she worked and put a gun put to her head. A few months later she used a shotgun to defend herself against a man who was trying to force entry into our apartment while I was at work. She didn't have to shoot though since the sound of the slide action was all that was needed. When she goes on trips with the youth at our church it seems that something crazy generally happens. Flat tires, blowouts, you name it.

Needless to say, when Sharon travels I start to worry. Last week was no exception as Sharon went to the Casa Bernabe orphanage in Guatemala on a scouting trip to prepare for an upcoming missions trip this summer where she will lead the youth back to help paint it and do some other work. When she left I was expecting not to hear from her for a week but I was pleasantly surprised that the orphanage had internet and I received an email from her letting me know that she had arrived safely. With regular communication I felt I wouldn't have to worry so much, or so I thought…

Sharon warned me that she wouldn't be able to write every night but after three days went by without hearing from her I was pretty concerned by Thursday night of last week. I just couldn't get to sleep that night and I was awake into the wee hours of the morning. I think I even had a mini panic attack or three. The only think I could do was pray and try to give the worry to God. It was hard though. I reminded the Lord that he promised not to give us more than we could bear (that's a correct interpretation, right?) and I assured him that if anything happened to Sharon it would simply be too much for me. I realized how silly this sounded as soon as I said it and in my chagrin I told God that I was sorry. The worry was still there though and I began to role-play what life without Sharon would be like. It's a great recipe for sleeplessness. You should try it next time you want to lie awake all night.

It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I won't admit there is any truth to it because something inside of me says that if I deny it then I'll have more power to prevent absences unless absolutely necessary. It's a rather convoluted logic but I'm sure that you feel the same way. The most I will admit is that the absence of someone I love deeply does help me see more clearly how much I take them for granted and how much I depend on them. It's an over-used quote from a movie I didn't even like but… "Sharon completes me."

On Friday morning I received a call from my wifey. She informed me that she was okay but that something had happened. My emotions went from joy to dread in a moment. The way she said it even gave me a little adrenaline jolt. I could hear my own pulse as she told a story about how she and her friend Kim had been trapped in a marked during a civil uprising in Guatemala City. The connection was bad and she was in a hurry since the call was expensive and on someone else's dime so I didn't get all the details right at the time. I understood her to say that they had been held inside a mall like area but she later clarified that it was actually an outdoor market. Anyway, there were lots of locals running around with sticks, pipes, and whatever else they could get their hands on that would make them look threatening. At the perimeter of the market, police lined up behind barricades, equipped with guns and riot gear, presumably to keep things contained. I got to see some pictures from the paper that Sharon brought back. Needless to say, they were a bit frightened at first and only received a little information about what was going on from their guides who didn't speak English well. They ended up staying there for 14 hours hoping things would settle down so they could buy food for the orphanage which was nearly out. Things finally did settle down and the market reopened so they purchased what they needed and headed back.

In hindsight it seems that maybe Sharon wasn't in any real danger but it was close enough that it made me think about how much she means to me. I began to consider some of the selfish and childish things I had done in the weeks prior that expressed love for myself rather than my love for her. I suppose this little adventure provided me some much needed clarity about what really matters.

Thank you Lord for the opportunity to see more clearly.

I love you Sharon and each day with you is a gift.

Best Friends = Dynamic Marriage

Sharon and I just finished facilitating a Dynamic Marriage class in our church last Sunday. This Sunday we look forward to an evening of debriefing and celebration as we get together one last time with the other couples for an Italian potluck dinner.

Even though we facilitated the class we also went through it as students ourselves. During the eight class sessions we learned some new things about each other but, more importantly, we spent a lot of time together during our nightly homework sessions. Part of the homework involved implementing the new tools that we learned during the class and as a result we have begun to form some helpful new habits.

Here are some of the most important things I learned during the class:

• 
  Prayer increases intimacy: As we have prayed together each night of the class we began to see each other's hearts more deeply. This is something we had not done frequently or consistently before but we will do so going forward. It has been a very positive factor in our relationship with each other and with the Lord.


• 
  Planning is essential: I have several bad habits (called Love Busters in the course) that I had given up hope of ever changing. However, I believe that I can overcome them if I put a plan in place, work on it regularly, and review my progress with my spouse.


• 
  We can be best friends: I never realized that recreational companionship was so important to my wife. It is included in the list of 10 needs but is one of the 5 needs that are predominantly male. Although she has shared her desire to have more fun in our relationship, the categorization of basic needs provided a framework that helped me understand Sharon's recreational need better. Basically, she needs to spend more time with me doing fun things instead of being serious and discussing issues and ministry related topics.


• 
  Her admiration is important: For myself I realized just how important it was for me to know that my wife admires me. Words of encouragement and affirmation make huge deposits in my "Love Bank" while criticism and cutting remarks make huge withdrawals.
  

We also gained a lot of insight from the other couples as they shared about their experiences as they went through the course.

I've read a lot of books on marriage and attended a lot of seminars but for some reason the very basic and simple principles taught in this class have proven over the years to be the most valuable to me. Additionally, the class provided a great opportunity for me to spend time with my spouse where we engaged in communication and putting into practice the things we learned. I am happy to say that my marriage is better than ever and I am looking forward to the next year with my mate for life (and my best friend): Sharon.

(For more information on the Dynamic Marriage class, see my previous blog entry on the subject)