Unbreakable

Last night I received some terrible news about something that happened to a good friend. That's vague, I know, but it's the kind of situation you can't talk about publicly for a variety of reasons, at least not now. And yet I feel a compulsion to say something. It's my blog after all and I want a marker for this date because it's a significant event in my life.

But what do I say? I don't know. I'm a bit in shock. We both saw this was coming but now that it has finally arrived it seems unbelievable. I want to find words that will comfort my friend and not cause more distress. I want him to know how much I respect him and how much he means to me.

I heard a song on the radio this morning as I was driving to work. I was caught up in the lyrics because I could hear my friend singing them. I could see the tears on his face in my mind's eye as he sang them loud and powerfully, his hands lifted to Heaven in supplication. He didn't sing with anger but with resolve that he would overcome these circumstances with God's help and not let the injustice of it diminish him.

Unbreakable by Fireflight

Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight
Can’t face me in the light
They’ll return but I’ll be stronger
God, I want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me
Sometimes it’s hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can’t see
To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better
Forget the fear it’s just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust

Lord, I pray you would help me to respond and not react in these circumstances. Grant me a measure of wisdom and compassion to guide me through this. I also pray for my friend that you would comfort and guide him. Give peace to him and his family as you lead them into a better place.

Home Sweet Home - Boise

Last week I signed a letter of acceptance for an offer of employment with a small, privately held company here in Boise. I will assume a position there as a Senior Software Engineer upon my severance from Micron and will help in the development of their core software products which are marketed to law enforcement and national defense agencies. Yes, I'm avoiding the mention of the company's name because I'm not sure they would prefer to have it appear on my blog if a customer were to do a Google search on it.

This job has been an answer to prayer for Sharon and I. In fact, the entire arrangement has God's fingerprints all over it. I first got the lead on this job last summer when the first talks of outsourcing began and before I knew that I would be selected. The lead came through some of Sharon's youth leaders who were friends with one of the company's owners. They were looking for a good C++ developer in the future during their company's next growth phase. When I learned last October that I would be outsourced, I contacted them and began the process that ultimately ended in the offer of employment.

With the possible exception of my first job out of college, I don't think I ever been so excited about a new job. Everyone I have met at this company has been a top-notch individual. It is obvious to me that they truly care about their employees and their customers which is something I haven't experienced in a long while. So how do I know they're top-notch? Well… Ask me in person and I'll be happy to share the details.

I've been very blessed to have secured employment here in Boise given how many people are looking for jobs and how few are available. Sharon and I were concerned that we might be compelled to leave the area in order for me to find suitable employment but just couldn't see how this could be God's plan for us given the ministry opportunities he had lead us into. We are overjoyed to have an answer to our prayers and amazed by how God has taken a set of grim circumstances and brought to a much better place than we were before.

Thank you Lord. I am very humbled by your care for us. Please help me to be a blessing to my new employer.

The Adventures of Sharon

My wife is an amazing person and adventure seems to follow her around like a stalker. She survived a bad car accident when she was a little girl. During our early years of marriage when I was in college she was grabbed by a man who was robbing the restaurant at which she worked and put a gun put to her head. A few months later she used a shotgun to defend herself against a man who was trying to force entry into our apartment while I was at work. She didn't have to shoot though since the sound of the slide action was all that was needed. When she goes on trips with the youth at our church it seems that something crazy generally happens. Flat tires, blowouts, you name it.

Needless to say, when Sharon travels I start to worry. Last week was no exception as Sharon went to the Casa Bernabe orphanage in Guatemala on a scouting trip to prepare for an upcoming missions trip this summer where she will lead the youth back to help paint it and do some other work. When she left I was expecting not to hear from her for a week but I was pleasantly surprised that the orphanage had internet and I received an email from her letting me know that she had arrived safely. With regular communication I felt I wouldn't have to worry so much, or so I thought…

Sharon warned me that she wouldn't be able to write every night but after three days went by without hearing from her I was pretty concerned by Thursday night of last week. I just couldn't get to sleep that night and I was awake into the wee hours of the morning. I think I even had a mini panic attack or three. The only think I could do was pray and try to give the worry to God. It was hard though. I reminded the Lord that he promised not to give us more than we could bear (that's a correct interpretation, right?) and I assured him that if anything happened to Sharon it would simply be too much for me. I realized how silly this sounded as soon as I said it and in my chagrin I told God that I was sorry. The worry was still there though and I began to role-play what life without Sharon would be like. It's a great recipe for sleeplessness. You should try it next time you want to lie awake all night.

It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I won't admit there is any truth to it because something inside of me says that if I deny it then I'll have more power to prevent absences unless absolutely necessary. It's a rather convoluted logic but I'm sure that you feel the same way. The most I will admit is that the absence of someone I love deeply does help me see more clearly how much I take them for granted and how much I depend on them. It's an over-used quote from a movie I didn't even like but… "Sharon completes me."

On Friday morning I received a call from my wifey. She informed me that she was okay but that something had happened. My emotions went from joy to dread in a moment. The way she said it even gave me a little adrenaline jolt. I could hear my own pulse as she told a story about how she and her friend Kim had been trapped in a marked during a civil uprising in Guatemala City. The connection was bad and she was in a hurry since the call was expensive and on someone else's dime so I didn't get all the details right at the time. I understood her to say that they had been held inside a mall like area but she later clarified that it was actually an outdoor market. Anyway, there were lots of locals running around with sticks, pipes, and whatever else they could get their hands on that would make them look threatening. At the perimeter of the market, police lined up behind barricades, equipped with guns and riot gear, presumably to keep things contained. I got to see some pictures from the paper that Sharon brought back. Needless to say, they were a bit frightened at first and only received a little information about what was going on from their guides who didn't speak English well. They ended up staying there for 14 hours hoping things would settle down so they could buy food for the orphanage which was nearly out. Things finally did settle down and the market reopened so they purchased what they needed and headed back.

In hindsight it seems that maybe Sharon wasn't in any real danger but it was close enough that it made me think about how much she means to me. I began to consider some of the selfish and childish things I had done in the weeks prior that expressed love for myself rather than my love for her. I suppose this little adventure provided me some much needed clarity about what really matters.

Thank you Lord for the opportunity to see more clearly.

I love you Sharon and each day with you is a gift.