Our family is going to Disneyland in June. It's kind of a family reunion thing with my wife's family. I have resisted it the whole time. I had lot's of excuses:
- We don't have the money for it.
- We've been there already.
- I'd rather go somewhere else.
- There are two many of us with children of different ages and it will be chaos to coordinate.
- I don't want to use vacation time on it when there are other more important things.
In short, I've been kind of a jerk about it and as I look at my family legacy that pretty much sums up my conduct so far when it comes to family vacations.
The biggest struggle for me this time around has been the financial issue. It's always been the biggest issue. I am ashamed to admit that I have accumulated quite a bit of debt in the past eight months due primarily to medical bills but also because of some choices to spend money on some missions trips and personal development. We considered all of these things to be important. I wouldn't change any of those decisions if I had the opportunity to. It's our son's last year at home and perhaps one of our final opportunities to speak into his life significantly so we spared no expense and these things have proven to be rich, valuable, and even life changing experiences for our son, our marriage, and our family.
So, to me the Disneyland vacation was something that needed to go on the chopping block. I've shared our financial situation with my friends and family so I feel a bit embarrassed when they learn that we are going to Disneyland and ask how I can afford it. It's an obvious dichotomy. But, to my wife the vacation was essential. We've only taken one real vacation as a family. All the rest have been compromised in some fashion. We've either camped out with friends or done extended weekend type trips. When I look back on the choices I have made, I sorely regret not having invested more in our family. If I could do things over again, I would surely place more importance on family time.
You're probably familiar with the quote: "The family that prays together stays together." There is another one that is akin to it and is similarly wise: "The family that plays together stays together." Sharon read this to me from a marriage book she was reading last night. The book is: "Creating an Intimate Marriage: Rekindle Romance Through Affection, Warmth & Encouragement" by Jim Burns. The chapter was on the importance of play in marriages and family. It struck a chord with me. I acknowledged that play was an area that I have struggled in and failed miserably.
The good news is that I don't have to continue to be that way. I can and do recognize the value and importance of play. I have been purposely focusing on adding more of it to my life over the past couple of months. Last weekend we had a fantastic time playing games in the back yard with some new friends from Focus. We also played some board games as a family on Sunday, something we haven't done in a very long time.
I am now looking forward to our vacation and will give 100% to ensure that our family has the best time possible together. I am also planning to use this time to improve my relationships with my wife's family. They are already good but I want to make them even more meaningful.
I hope that what I have shared here has been of value to you so let me ask you this: "Do you make time for play in your marriage/family?" I hope that you will give that question prayerful consideration and take action as necessary. May God richly bless you and yours.
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