Words of a Feather Flock Together

I was recently reminded of the power of words as I watched an exchange of words amongst a group of people. One person said and did something and another took offense and responded rather judgmentally. Others quickly joined into the fray and words were exchanged both publicly and in whispers behind closed doors. Camps quickly formed on both sides while others tried to step in and mediate.

The point of contention wasn't even an issue of right or wrong. Both parties had pure motives. Sadly, a conflict arose where none should have existed and others were pulled in to defend the honor of those they loved. I even found myself pulled in at one point as one of the injured parties that I am close to asked for advice.

I must confess that I found myself wanting to take sides and jump in with my sage advice. This time I took time to reflect and think about my actions. I wish I were always so wise. My advice to the person who asked was to wait and give prayerful consideration before responding privately. I can't count the number of times I have reacted in anger when my emotions were going full bore. I have always regretted it afterwards.

Some time ago I came across a wonderful story that often helps me to remember to control my tongue. I share it with you now:

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Yiddish folklore offers an insightful tale about gossip or slander. Once a man had said many malicious things about the local rabbi and, overcome by remorse, he begged the rabbi to forgive him. He said: "Rabbi, tell me how I can make amends?"

The rabbi sighed, "Take two pillows, go to the public square and there cut the pillows open. Wave them in the air and let the wind carry off the feathers. Then come back."

The man quickly went home, got two pillows and a knife and hastened to the square where he cut the pillows open, waved them in the air, and let the wind take the feathers, just as he had been asked. He then hastened back to the rabbi’s chambers. "I did just what you said, Rabbi! Am I now forgiven?"

"Good." The rabbi smiled. "Now, to realize how much harm is done by your words, go back to the square and gather all of the feathers."

The man exclaimed, "But that is impossible rabbi! By now they have been scattered far and wide."

To which the rabbi replied, "So it is with your words. I forgive you, of course, but the harm they have caused cannot be completely undone."